"Aren't the Martial Arts too violent for my child?"

No. Unfortunately, violence is the most glamorized and publicized aspect of the Martial Arts. Fighting is only a very small fraction of what true Martial Arts are all about. What you see in almost any movie starring Bruce Lee, Jean Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, or Jackie Chan is only about fighting. The real aim of the traditional Martial Arts-an aim that transcends mere fighting-is the perfection of character. That takes a lifetime to unfold (and is hard to depict in movies!).

Of course, this sounds daunting, even pretentious. No one joins a karate class thinking "I want to perfect my character!"

One joins to learn self-defense or to get in shape. Under the proper instruction and after a period of time, a very subtle change occurs. The student realizes that there is far more to the Martial Arts than just fighting. When a student is aware of his or her fighting abilities, he or she is unlikely to use them. People who get in a fight, any kind of fight, do so because they feel they have to prove something about themselves that has been untested or is unknown to them. The accomplished martial artist will create alternatives to violent conflict. When push comes to shove, the accomplished martial artist feels no shame in being shoved. There is no reason to prove what he or she already knows. He or she can walk away knowing that had there been a fight, he or she would have won. For children, such knowledge can be empowering. At a time when they are especially vulnerable to peer pressure as well as the internal pressures of finding their own limitations, Martial Arts instills within them the awareness that there are always options in any given situation. Whether it's a taunt from a playground bully, a dare from friends to steal candy from the drugstore, or a teacher's direct question, the student of Martial Arts will develop the courage to make personal decisions as to the proper course of action. Self-confidence and self-esteem are the ultimate results.

Personal growth

"Everyone seems aggressively on the defensive these days. A rampant 'make my day' ethic expressed at various levels of the culture may be largely to blame for both the rise in teen crime and its increasing callousness, says Deborah Prothrow-Stith, an assistant dean at the Harvard School of Public Health. Our national icons tend to be men who excel at violence, from John Wayne to Clint Eastwood." (Excerpt from David Gelman, 'The Violence in Our Heads,' Newsweek, August 2, 1993.)

"The problem with kids today is..."

There is an expression that says, "When you point an accusing finger, there are three more pointing right back at you." Children and adolescents are not inherently bad; their behavior reflects their upbringing. If parents and adults do not act as good role models, then such accusations are hypocritical and groundless. Children and adolescents do look for role models. A traditional Martial Arts instructor, like a parent, teacher, or family friend-is among the best qualified. He or she works with children and adolescents and sets examples for them in both word and action.

The instructors make it very clear to children that Martial Arts is not to be used irresponsibly, nor will a few lessons make them expert fighters. Anything less would give them a false sense of security. Instead, the lessons focus on the harmony of working together with the instructors and with fellow students. While children find the workouts fun and entertaining, there are equal emphases on discipline and self-control which carry over to their daily lives, as many parents will tell you. Furthermore, by working together children learn teamwork and can overcome shyness or insecurity. A good instructor always praises a child's individual effort since the Martial Arts are not about competition, but rather about personal challenge.

Having boys and girls work together erases some of the culturally ingrained conceptions that they may have about gender differences. Psychologists have shown that boys tend to believe that their successes in sports are due to ability, whereas girls believe that their successes are due to luck. Furthermore, sports are divided by gender: little league and bobby sox, boys' and girls' swimming, etc. Boys and girls rarely, if ever, work with and compete against each other in organized play. Since greater attention is almost always given to boys' sports, girls tend to feel like second-class athletes.

In traditional Martial Arts training, this is not the case. There are no "girls" Martial Arts, nor "boys" Martial Arts. Working together, children realize that ability has everything to do with the person and nothing to do with gender. At quality Martial Arts schools, all children, regardless of gender, height, weight, age, temperament, or intelligence work together in a supervised and safe arena.

"The goal of maintaining a peaceful nature even in the most explosive circumstances is the object of intense study for every would-be karate person, and the manifestation of this nature is the measure of the karate master." (Excerpt from Marilyn Cerny, 'Understanding Karate,' Journal of Physical Education, Recreation, and Dance, September, 1981.)

Physical fitness

"Achieving fitness is a way of life, not a fad or a brief change in one's way of doing things And, an early start is imperative... Physical education should be a unique opportunity for increasing fitness with all children involved in tasks and activities which challenge their musculoskeletal and cardiopulmonary systems." (Excerpt from American Academy of Pediatrics: Committee on Pediatric Aspects of Physical Fitness, Recreation, and Sports, 'Fitness in the Preschool Child,' Pediatrics, Vol. 67, No. 6, June, 1981.)

"Discipline" is among the most unfortunate of words. For many it means "punishment." Merely saying it invokes images of Marine drill sergeants. Many of us can remember spankings, walking the long, lonely halls to detention, or being sent to bed without any supper. "Discipline" has not only become limited in meaning, but clichéd as well.

In the Martial Arts, discipline can be defined as "to train to proper conduct." The definition is open-ended because it has different applications to different people. Perhaps the child beginning the Martial Arts has poor concentration, or is clumsy, hyperactive, overly-aggressive, or overweight. It does not really matter what the challenge is, if indeed there is one. If the child already has good concentration or sound hand-eye coordination, then the traditional Martial Arts will develop and improve those gifts. The Martial Arts will provide a structured environment for the child to overcome limitations constructively or enhance the abilities he or she already has. This is discipline, Martial Arts-style. It is about change, growth, and personal development.

"The reasons why people begin Martial Arts training are frequently illiberal: for self-defense, or to cure an ailment, or as an outlet for aggression, or because of social inducements. Once they have been training for a while, their motivations usually undergo some subtle change. By the time one has been actively training for a year or two, the reasons tend to converge into a single rationale: I'm training to perfect my mastery of the art. What emerges is the sense of a lifelong quest for perfection, wherein each moment is intrinsically satisfying, but the experience is framed as a part of an unlimited pursuit of growth and improved expression."

(Excerpt from Donald N. Levine, 'The Liberal Arts and the Martial Arts,' Liberal Education, Vol. 70, No. 3.)

"What kinds of changes are we talking about?"

There is a joke that goes, "How many Martial Arts masters does it take to change a light bulb?" The answer is, "Only one, but that light bulb must want to change first." The Martial Arts instructor is there to share the art, not to force it upon the student. The benefits of the Martial Arts manifest themselves when the student is willing. Whole-hearted commitment will bring dramatic changes in personal growth, such as changes in attitude and changes in character, as well as improvements in physical fitness. Some changes come quickly, but most are very gradual. Those coming to the Martial Arts looking for a quick fix may be disappointed.

Disappointment with the traditional Martial Arts is not that uncommon-Americans are so accustomed to instant gratification that it's taken for granted. We have instant coffee, microwave pizza, overnight delivery, and even one-hour printing and developing. Children are no different.

They also expect immediate gratification, which can be, to say the least, exasperating for any parent. For this reason, the Martial Arts can be the solution, not part of the problem. The Martial Arts provide students a way of gauging progress like no other activity. As they progress, training becomes more challenging, fun, and exciting. By seeing a noticeable increase in their strengths or a disappearance of their weaknesses, students gain self-esteem. With encouragement, they push themselves to higher plateaus. Consciously or unconsciously, they inevitably realize that patience and diligence have their rewards. When people feel good about themselves, they develop healthy attitudes that are apparent in the good times, the not-so-good times, and at their highest level, in the worst of times.

"I do not think badly of others when they treat me unkindly. Rather, I feel gratitude towards them for giving me the opportunity to train myself to handle adversity."

Morihei Ueshiba, founder of Aikido

"You may train for a long, long time, but if you merely move your hands and feet and jump up and down like a puppet, learning karate is not very different from learning to dance. You will never have reached the heart of the matter; you will have failed to grasp the quintessence of karate-do."

Gichin Funakoshi

"For the uncontrolled there is no wisdom, nor for the uncontrolled is there the power of concentration; and for one without concentration there is no peace. And for the unpeaceful, how can there be happiness?"

Bhagavad Gita

"Softness triumphs over hardness, feebleness over strength. What is more malleable is always superior over that which is immovable. This is the principle of controlling things by going along with them, of mastery through adaptation."

Lao-Tzu